Your About Page Isn't Converting: The Buried Gold Problem

A Simple Reason Your About Page Isn't Converting 

About pages are tricky. You need to somehow talk about yourself while also keeping the reader interested and engaged. 

Which is hard to pull off. 

So if your About page isn’t working and you don't know how to fix it, you might have a "buried gold" problem where the best material on the page lives in the place no one will ever see it.

That was Kim Hagle’s exact spot when she applied for Five-Minute Feedback with her page for Radiant Vitality. She’s a body positive personal trainer and body image coach and all her best lines are sitting in the wrong order. 

Let's unpack how you can use Kim's page to improve your own About Me page.

What's Working - and What's Not

Kim already has a headline that stops the right people people from scrolling: 

"A Manifesto for the Fitness Misfits".

It does exactly what a headline should do: names the purpose of her page and the person it's for in five words. 

The word manifesto alone makes a reader lean in instead of skim past.

She also has a highly compelling personal story most people would kill for. 

But both are buried in the wrong spot. 

Her About page has the right ingredients but we need to get 'em in the right order so the reader is compelled to keep reading. 

Your Copy Stops Riiiight Before It Gets Interesting

Right under Kim's headline is a sub-headline that's easy for the reader to skip past.

Headlines and subheadlines need to be bold, surprising, and clear.  

That's why Kim's hidden line, "This is for you if you've been told fitness was never for you"would serve SO much better as a headline. It's copy that zooms straight in on the reader instead of easing into the idea.

Same thing happens when Kim describes what her reader's day-to-day actually feels like. 

Reflecting your audience's lived experience is what makes them think this person gets me. 

You have to develop it fully so the reader can connect and feel seen, so instead of glossing over it or speeding up, slow down and explore the moment.

Your Turning Point Story Is Already Written, But No One Can Find It

Further into the page, Kim tells her own story: this is where the real gold is. 

She became a personal trainer after losing weight and what that did to her life wasn't what she expected.

In her words: "I looked the part. I did not feel well. I hit a wall."

That's honest, specific, and more persuasive than any credential could provide to earn trust in a reader.

But it also sits in the middle of the page instead of leading. 

If Kim flipped the order - leading with her experience and what it really cost her, then moving into what she shifted and why that's what drives her work now…

It would be the same story, same words, but told in the order that makes it the entire reason she built something different for her clients. It's relatable and resonant, and that's how we make it About Kim without being "All About Kim"!

The Page Loses Momentum Right Before It Should Ask You to Act

Kim's Fitness Manifesto list is strong in terms of her POV and relatability, but it's quite long. 

It also sits high enough on the page to slow a reader down before they've connected, seen themselves in her messaging mirror, and had a reason to keep going. 

Because your About page's job isn't only to inform but to also move someone to act. 

Long-form content like her Fitness Manifesto list belongs further down, after they've gone on the journey with her and bought in to her premise & POV. 

The line that should be up front is already written: 

"You were never the problem. You just hadn't found your people yet. You've found us now." 

That's the bridge between who Kim is and what she offers, but it's buried where almost no one will read it closely. 

The "ways to work with me" section should follow close behind it, with more of Kim's personality coming through. A reader who's ready to act shouldn't have to keep scrolling to find out how.

Steal This for Your Own Page

• Find the one sentence in your own copy that's already doing the heaviest lifting. Most people bury it and write past it without noticing.
• If your personal story is on the About page, check whether it's leading or buried in the middle. The honest version of your story is usually more persuasive at keeping the reader involved than it will be living halfway down the page.
• Including long-form content like a manifesto, a mission statement, a full bio, etc. almost always belongs lower on the About page than you'd think.
• Put your "how to work with me" section right after the moment a reader would feel like you're talking directly to them, not several scrolls later. 

Your Next Step

Instead of guessing what your audience needs to hear...

I'll walk you through what's going on and tell you exactly how to change it so you can get more traction with your own audience.

Get an expert's eyes on your sales page, home page, about page, or any piece of content.

Grab a Second Opinion Call at jenliddy.com/secondopinion.