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The Shame of Asking for Help

When the health care worker quietly uttered, “You’ve tested positive for COVID19” shame set right in.

How could I have gotten COVID? I followed all the (stringent) rules of our state! 

Went nowhere for almost a year! Wore my mask; washed my hands.

Wasn’t in crowds. 

In fact, the shame was so hot & immediate, that when I got in the car where John was waiting, I felt downright DIRTY…

like I’d done something WRONG. 

As I began to tell the people in my life, I could feel a secret shame flaring up inside.

Like I had a Scarlet C on my chest - (comparing myself to Hester Prynne is a fairly absurd, I’ll give you that - but in the moment the DRAMA was SO INTENSE!)


I took to my personal FB page to ask about why we hear very few people talking about getting COVID until long after they’re recovered…

Turns out - shame wasn’t limited to me! 

Comments flooded in from friends who felt the same: embarrassed they got it, worried they unknowingly passed it on, angry that others had put them at risk.

Add to shame the exhaustion of BEING sick. When my husband got diagnosed two days after, we both had to isolate from our son, who’s 13.

Couldn’t leave our rooms

I had to figure out a way to make life easier during this time.

You might remember I said last week, “I didn’t know how much I hated asking for help until January 2021.”

I hate it mostly because who am I to take up space asking for help when others need SO MUCH MORE than me?

But I HAD to figure out how to make life easier during this horrible time.

I swallowed my humiliation & reached out to a friend to ask her to put a meal train together for me. 

And…people showed up for us

Every time a meal was delivered, a gift showed up via Amazon, a message came in checking on us, or a delivery came via mail, I was astounded at the absolute generosity & thoughtfulness of people.

Asking for help was the only way we got through relatively unscathed. It’s how my kid got fed every night. 

It’s how I went to sleep not having to worry. Knowing things were taken care of…

Reaching out for help created EASE around this hard thing.

Do you ever walk around guilty because other people have it tougher than you do?

Like, you “should” have your shit together and not ask for help?

And if you ask it, you’re not only WEAK, you’re also taking up space you don’t deserve to take up?

I see you. 

Here’s what I KNOW logically but STILL learning: 

You having more ease in your life doesn’t take it away from anyone else

No matter what your mom, your nana, your grandad, or your Girl Scout Troop leader told you about this loooong ago: 

It’s OK to make things a little easier on yourself. 

(Hard to do, fer sher…but that’s a story for next week when I introduce you to someone who’ll help you dissolve your old beliefs!)

Are you carrying around beliefs that you don’t deserve ease?

That if you ask for help, you’re weak?

👋🏼 ME TOO. 

So, let’s practice this month: 

WHAT’s ONE place you can make something EASIER for yourself? 

Ugggg yes, it might require asking for help. Or not being perfect. Or trying something new.

Or letting something go…😱

Remember: if we don’t find rest, it WILL find us, and not on our terms.

Drop a comment & share with me the ONE thing you KNOW could be a SMIDGE easier.

Xo, Jen

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