How she knew her marriage was over
A friend had been hanging on to her lifeless, lonely marriage for a while. For lots of reasons.
She was so unhappy – so was her hubs.
I asked, “Where were you with this a year ago?”
She stared at me: “Exactly where I am now.”
She’d known for a while. But things had gotten worse. A little harder to bear. A lot sadder.
I asked her to think about what her life would be like one year from now if she stayed exactly where she was.
She physically shuddered. Scrunched up her face.
She did not want that.
We talked about how fast a year goes – though some days feel long, a year is short.
“Where do you want to be a year from now?”
She wanted to be in a happier place.
Maybe alone. Maybe not.
Maybe moving. Maybe not.
She had to take just one step and decide one thing: did she want to be in the marriage any longer?
She thought for a while and said, “By this time next year, I want to be out of that house.”
What a huge thing to say!
A giant decision.
A H.A.R.D. sentence to voice.
We established some goals. Did some math.
Things seemed easier when she had an Accountability Buddy to flesh it out with.
She looked at the notes and the numbers. “Wow. I can do that. I just have to hustle.”
And hustle she did.
It didn’t take a year. It took her 7 months.
It’s been hard. Incredibly hard. But she impressed herself (and everyone around her, frankly.)
She rose to the occasion. She rises to the occasion every. damn. day.
She did NOT want to be in the same place a year from now.
What is the dream you have? What goal has eluded you?
You can have it – you just have to believe you deserve it.
You might need an Accountability Buddy to walk the path alongside you.
