What Would It Be Like To Just Stop Struggling?
Last night my best friend Leslie & I were talking about weight. Weight loss. Frustration. Body Image. Blahdey blah blah.
All the things surrounding the topic of weight.
How I’m tired of struggling. How she’s tired of struggling.
What would it be like to just stop struggling?
And if we stopped struggling, who would we be?
Who would I be without my weight story?
What we realized - as we got SICK of the conversation, the topic, and ourselves - is basically this:
“Ok. We’ll do whatever it takes. JUST TELL US EXACTLY WHAT WILL WORK.”
But here’s the thing: What works for a few months stops working after a few months.
It’s like parenting: you learn what works with your 3-month-old, then that no longer works with your 6-month-old. Much less your one-year-old.
And as we enter tweendom over here, I’m not sure WHAT THE HELL is gonna work!
Doubt. Always, we doubt.
We want certainty, don’t we? Our brains just crave certainty. I’m sure that’s why I choose food that makes me feel like shit.
Because it provides me CERTAINTY. I’m certain it will keep me stuck & feeling like shit.
When I was in the throes of building my first business in 2013, I had THIS uncertain, debilitating thought:
What if I can’t think like an entrepreneur?
Well, duh! I’d never been an entrepreneur - and man, do they think differently than employees do!!
Looking back, I see that OF COURSE, I had this thought. I’d been an EMPLOYEE to someone else for more than 30 years of my life!
OF COURSE, my brain was trying to keep me safe.
My husband and mother-in-law are both highly entrepreneurial, and they talk about business A LOT, so I knew for certain that I needed to shift my thinking.
And I didn’t know all the HOWs. And I wasn’t sure I COULD.
What if I couldn’t? OMG what if I couldn’t become an entrepreneur in my mind?
And then what?
What if I got into the business and couldn’t shift into entrepreneurship?
Well, that would suck, right?
What’s my worst-case scenario here?
Hmph! Ok…It would be uncomfortable…and frankly, it was something my business partner Leslie (same BFF from the start of this story) & I both struggled with.
We’d never owned a business before, and it was QUITE a shift from our previous lives!
It was HARD. But if I couldn’t accept it, AND THEN WHAT?
Well, then I’d have known I tried something and learned it wasn’t for me. At least I’d know I’d gotten the insight to learn what to do next time.
OR!! I could’ve gotten HELP and learned how to shift my mind - and how to practice this new way of being.
Being aware of the thought is important - but you can’t LIVE in the doubt.
You can’t dwell there too long or it will take you down.
Here’s the thing: all of it is really just an experiment.
Eating plans. Parenting. Building a business. Fill in the blank!!
If you think ANYONE out there is 100% clear, omniscient, and infallible, you’re setting yourself up for disaster.
Even that really successful persn out there - that bajillioinare who is running a thriving, mind-blowing business.
She wakes up some days and thinks, “Hmmm, can I really do this today?”
I want to go to bed every night knowing I have done my best with whatever today’s experiment is. Knowing that I’ve gathered my research and learned something new about what to do next.
But, but…Here’s where my big buts show up again.
What if I failed? What if the thing was hard? What if I screwed it up?
And then what? Well, I wouldn’t have died. I wouldn’t have wasted my time. I wouldn’t have hurt anyone.
I’d have done my best. The end.
(Isn’t this what our parents told us they wanted us to do - simply our best?)
It would’ve been hard, but I wouldn’t have DIED.
Come ON, my friend. It’s time to see doubt for the annoying little irritant she is - she doesn’t rule the house.
She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s not in charge. YOU ARE IN CHARGE>
Picture this:
You’re thinking about that business you want to boost. The life you want to have. The goal you want to reach.
You want it really badly. What are you thinking? What are you doing?
What are you FEELING?
WAIT FOR IT -
Watch Doubt creep in.
And then what?
Now, it’s your turn. Finish the story. Make up the ending.
Want support writing your ending? Want support squashing doubt?
You’re literally the person I created my coaching programs for - whether you’re a potential for private or group coaching, you’re going to get what you need to…
Know what to do first - learn what to do next - and take concrete steps forward.
Get on my calendar and let’s have a conversation.
Xo, Jen
PS: Check out this podcast where Leslie & I break down - honestly - the hardships in our first business & our relationship…If I do say so myself, it’s a great convo! OR, watch it on video here.
