3 tools to move you forward in the low moments

Jan 12, 2020

Here are 3 tools you can use today to help you move forward when you feel sluggish or low…

Fairly easy tools you can do right now.

Tool 1: Look Back/Look Now

First, I think back about a year - and remember some things I really wanted for myself. 

Once I remember the gist of those things, I compare myself to where I am now. I assess where I am now in comparison.

You might be cringing thinking of doing this. Maybe you’re SURE nothing has happened in a year.

But frankly, there’s not ONE client I’ve taken through this exercise who hasn’t had a huge light-bulb moment!

I’ll ask her about the one year ago business, and she’ll moan, “Oohhhhhh no. Shit. I didn’t get very far.”  Then it’s my job to pull out of her head what she wanted & we list it all out.

Then we move into where she is right now, and she’ll say, “Holy shit. Wow. I did make progress on that!” Usually she’s shocked.

Sometimes it’s small progress. I usually need to remind her of a few wins. Often the shifts are palpable - or she can see the outcome of these changes in her bank account.

Mostly, the shifts are emotional or mental. She likes herself better. Has improved boundaries. Feels more peace. Is enjoying life & business more.

Without the Look Back/Look Now check-in tool, she’d likely be wringing her hands in self-disappointment!

I’ve come to rely on this quick assessment tool. It’s quite motivating - because ALMOST ALWAYS there’s been forward movement.

What if you don’t even remember what your goals/dreams/desires WERE a year ago?

That’s ok! Today a client today struggled with just that, so she opened her planner & journal, and there it all was. She jogged her memory by looking at what she was doing every day at that point.

Since I swear I have holes in my brain, I keep everything I want on a list on my desktop.

This is Tool 2: Your Dream Desires List

Last year, I started a RIDICULOUS list. I called it GIANT GOALS 2019.

I didn’t know if these things would happen in a year, or in five years, but I started a list anyway & added to it as the year went by.

On that list last year were absurd goals:

  • Pay off credit card debt
  • Fix the garage
  • Get the house painted
  • Increase my pricing
  • Fill my private practice

Those goals were INSANE. They were more like dreams or wishes, at the time.

I had NO IDEA how I was going to make any of them happen.

I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea HOW I was going to get there.

And not knowing HOW is the thing that keeps many, many people from even getting started.

It’s paralyzing to try to figure out all the HOWs of any situation.

Exactly HOW were we going to pay off this debt?

Exactly HOW was I going to fill my private practice?

Have you ever heard of Mike Dooley? He’s the guy who founded Notes from the Universe. I was introduced to his idea of “The Cursed Hows” when I saw him in person 10 years ago.

He teaches that we

  • create problems for ourselves by worrying about HOW we will achieve the things we want.
  • it’s not our job or responsibility to know HOW - it will show up for us, once we know what we want!

I admit I was VERY skeptical. I hadn’t yet started my personal development journey - and my life looked NOTHING like it does today.

My thoughts were lack-focused, and I spent a lot of time nurturing my inner critic & listening to the shitty thoughts it fed my brain.

 I didn’t believe life could be any different than it was.

Anyway - in that weekend session with Mike Dooley, I started to shift my mindset. Began testing his theory that the HOWs show up for us - if we leave space and are open to what might show up.

Fast forward 10 years.

My insane goals from last year? We hit every single one of them.

We paid off our credit card debt. Got our house painted.

I raised my prices - more than doubled them! AND filled my private practice.

If I’d spent any time at all worrying about the Cursed Hows, I never would’ve achieved any of those goals because I could NOT have predicted the opportunities that came my way to make them real.

Do you have your dreams for 2020 written down somewhere?

Maybe they’re fuzzy.

Maybe they sound like, ‘I want to travel more. I want to be in a loving, communicative relationship. I want to love myself. I want to have a thriving business.’

But you might be stuck because you’ve got the gist of what you want -

but you have NO IDEA HOW TO GET THERE.

And that’s scary. We all want to know HOW. Just tell me HOW. The cursed how.

And sometimes, when we can’t know ALL the steps, it feels impossible to take the first one.

And right now, in this second week of January 2020, you might know you want something - or know you DON’T want something anymore - but you have no idea HOW to get it, so that might be holding you back.

Tool #3: Stop Asking How.

Let go of needing to know ALL the HOWs.

Whatever it is you want, you cannot POSSIBLY know HOW all the pieces will unfold.

At this moment, if you said you’re desiring a loving relationship, you have no idea what will be presented to you to allow it to happen. The opportunities that will arise, the magic that will be presented, the resources or teachers that will show up to help you get there.

How could you possibly know all the HOWs?

You’ve already done LOTS of things by accepting that you will just figure it out as you go.

You figure it out as you go.

When you take this first step toward of accepting that you don’t need to know ALL the HOWs, you will then be FREE to make your magic in the world…

Be open.  Look for possibilities. See the help that presents itself.

TAKE that help when it shows up.

Say, “OH! This must be the next step in my HOW journey.”

Until you’re open to allowing the HOW to unfold, the journey will be harder.

You may be saying in response to me, “NO, no Jen Liddy! I have a plan & a strategy. I’m ready to put it in place”. 

That is Fantastic! Work your plan, and be open to it not going exactly as planned. Be open to the HOW changing - and you’ll get there faster & more easily.

For me, in January 2019 - one year ago - while all the cool kids were picking a word of the year, I was being decidedly uncool - and NOT picking a word.

Instead, I made a list.

And every single thing on it happened.

I had no idea HOW it was going to unfold. But I was open to every possibility. I said yes to some things; no to others.

And here I am one year later - a little unsure with what’s next for me, but I sure as hell know that it’s POSSIBLE.

Dwell in possibility. There is such power there, rather than white-knuckling through some bullshit excuse that you need to know HOW before you can begin.

Next week I’m offering a free training on a twist on how to get started with this! If you’re a member of my email list, you’ll be invited to join. It’s called Anti-Goals - a different way to get what you want!

To get on the list & grab your invitation, go to my website download any of the freebies there. That way, you get a helpful tool to build your business AND get on my email list to be invited to this month’s training! It’s www.jenliddy.com/free.

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