A Painful Lesson from a WANTrepreneur

Jun 09, 2019

Maybe you’ve noticed: people in your life seem to always have an opinion about what you do, how you do it, and maybe even WHETHER you should do it!

I’ve learned how to deal with this the hard way.

And I’ve learned that there’s also an easy way to deal with it. Want to know what it is?

Lemme share a story of a moment that wasn’t actually about me, 

but I wanted to think it was about me.

Here’s the situation: I’d asked a friend to coffee, and in the middle of our conversation, she rolled her eyes at me.

I wasn’t supposed to notice she was doing it. Honestly, I'm not even sure she knew she was doing it.

 The problem was - according to her - that I was starting a coaching business after leaving my fitness studio business.

Well, let me clarify. It wasn’t a problem for me! I’d been burned out & not getting paid, so I was on an upswing after all that nonsense.

I’d compared my skills to the need in my community.

And had noticed a lot of people NEEDED to get out of their own way to accomplish shit.

I realized I could teach people how to get out of their own way & accomplish a lot of shit.

So, it seemed like a perfect fit to me!

I was about to go from fitness studio owner to Accountability Coach - admittedly a completely made up job.

I’d called this friend as a target market research interview:  I wanted to know exactly what creative, busy women like her struggled with! What kept them from starting, running, & growing their businesses?

She was one of about 30 interviews I’d set up, and I was taking serious notes.

At first, she was happy to give me her insights, tell me her story, and share her dream vision for her own coaching business.

But somewhere in the middle a sentence, she had a realization:

She’d spent $11,000 on a coaching certification. And wasn’t using it.

And here she was, telling me ALL about ALL the reasons why she hadn’t put it into effect yet.

And I think it just HIT HER.

Here she was, an official coach. Done the training. Read the books. Did the homework. Done her apprenticeship.

But she was not executing. She wasn’t running her business.

And as she was telling me why, I think she heard everything that she was saying for what it was:

EXCUSES.

Our brains are REALLY good at taking excuses & making them into “reasons”. We can do that for a LOOOOONG time.

And we truly believe it.

But sometimes, when we’re particularly vulnerable with ourselves or with someone else, we see our reasons for what they usually are:

 Bullshit Excuses.

My coffee date had just had a BIG a-ha moment. And there I was there: a very irritating witness.

She’d bought the ticket - a very expensive ticket - she’d waited in line, and had decided not to take the ride.

As we were talking, she became PISSED that I hadn’t followed “the rules” and was about to take the ride without a proper ticket. Kinda like I’d cut the line.

“So you’re going to become a coach - without any training?”

I didn’t want to get defensive or overly explain myself.

I didn’t want to explain that everything I’d already done…

  • Getting two Master’s degrees in education & training & development,
  • Extensive training to teach personal development to college students & faculty,
  • Creating a brick & mortar business from the ground up

I knew deep inside that these had given me more than enough experience & education to at least get started.

Whatever I needed to learn after that, I’d learn along the way.

I didn’t need to tell her I’d invested FAR MORE than $11,000 in my education, degrees, and trainings - in addition to the thousands of hours I’d already put into the work of becoming who I was at that point.

I didn’t need to tell her that I was currently in a $5000 coaching program to get me exactly where I needed to be.

So I didn’t tell her. Because I felt that it would just sound defensive & offensive.

And that’s when she rolled her eyes.

At first, I thought it was all about the fact that I hadn’t gone the proper route. I wasn’t going to get a certification from someplace.

But then I realized the eye roll was about the fact that I was taking action - and I had less experience, less training, and less legitimacy than she did.

She seemed to realize that if I could do it, so could she. And that the only damn thing holding her back was her own choices.

This was a hard moment, as you can imagine.

I didn’t want her to feel annoyed with me. Or angry. Or disappointed in herself.

I wanted her to respect me & my choices. Actually, I really wanted her to start HER business! I wanted her to know

Hey man - I’m not here to compete - I’m here to support & inspire!

But she’d rolled her eyes. And I noticed. So the vibe had shifted.

I had a choice. I could get defensive. I could explain all the things I’ve already explained to you.

Or I could just let it be. Not take it personally, and move on.

Guess what I chose?

I chose not to feel shitty…I chose to remember that this wasn’t my bullshit. This wasn’t MY problem.

I literally let her think whatever she wanted to think because, truly, people have to work through it before they can hear your version of the truth.

I couldn’t take it personally. It was about her far more than it was about me. I was just a catalyst, I guess.

This is a tool I teach my clients a lot - we get the opportunity to practice it often.

Do you want to grow your business?

To have success - whatever that word means to you?

More money?

More time?

More freedom?

Then you have to stop caring what other people think, and you must EXECUTE.

You must stop waiting for ALL the information to come your way, and you must EXECUTE.

Take action.

That’s it. Just start.

Take some fricken action.

And watch how that changes your damn life.

You can do it the long way, sloggin’ along, wondering what’s next.

Or you can get some help.

I’m in the business of helping women wake up & know what to do every day to work their plan.

I help women execute on their ideas.

It’s why I created my Summer Accountability Accelerator

  • Private coaching & accountability.
  • Only 8 spots available.
  • It starts June 24 & ends Sept 16th.

Chip away at your goal in 15-minute increments AND have the best summer EVAH!!!

Stop caring what everyone else THINKS of you!

Start caring what YOU think of you!

Xo, Jen

PS: Keep your momentum going this summer with a 90-Day private coaching program done in 15 minute increments! Is the Summer Accountability Accelerator for you?

 

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