Four Steps to Get What You’ve Always Wanted
We all suffer with THIS problem below, in some way:
You SAY you WANT a thing. But your ACTIONS say something very different.
Examples? Ohhhhh, so many. Here you go:
WANT: fit into my pants again
ACTION: fail to eat clean
WANT: widen my social circle
ACTION: fail to accept any invitations
WANT: business to make $5K+ per month
ACTION: fail to engage in marketing strategy
You get it.
When we do this, we’re out of alignment with ourselves.
We’ve earned our own distrust.
SO how do we get it back? How do we solve this problem?
#1 thing to REMEMBER! We’re not judging! That’s not something that moves us forward.
BUT! You want to build trust again?
How would you do that with someone external to you who earned your distrust?
Your child? Your partner? Your colleague?
- You’d start with awareness, then an apology. Go ahead and apologize to yourself. “Oh man, I screwed up. That’s not how I wanted it to go. I’m really sorry.”
- Then accept your own apology. Don't judge yourself. Just say, “Thanks. I accept that.”
Wow - how kind for both of you!
- Next, if you were trying to build trust with someone external to you, you’d make a plan:
I really want _________.
So, I’m going to ________.
And I commit to ______.
You’d get real intentional with that shit.
You’d print it out & look at it. You’d put it as a reminder on your calendar.
You might even journal about it, meditate with it, or pray on it. You’d say it over & over to yourself.
You’d make it part of the landscape of your life - something you see all the time.
- Lastly, if you were trying to build trust with someone you cared about, you’d SHOW UP for the thing you just committed to.
You’d FOLLOW through.
Even when it sucked. Even when it was uncomfortable.
EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO IN THAT MOMENT!
Think about the all the bullshitty, pain-in-the-assy things you do for your loves. Your kids. Your spouse. Your partner. Your best friend.
YOU SHOW UP. Even when you don’t feel like it.
They trust you’ll show up. And when you screw up, you make a change.
Want doubt to leave your mind for good? You have to earn trust back with yourself.
It’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Which means you WILL screw up & fall back into old patterns.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know the drill.
Acknowledge it. Be aware. See it.
Don’t judge it.
Then make a change…
What do you have to DO to start earning your trust back?
What do you have to THINK to stop cheating on yourself?
This last piece is the hardest - and it’s what I teach to my clients. This whole goal-getting nonsense is not just about WHAT TO DO.
That’s the myth: that you have to DO something different.
It starts with WHAT TO THINK>
Getting what you want is all about changing your thinking.
Building something is about what you THINK.
What are you thinking? Do you even know?
Do you know how to do this stuff? I didn’t.
I learned. I can teach you. And you can have what you want.
Or you can keep on “doing” - and yes, I put quotation marks around doing - what you’re currently doing.
Next year - on this date - what do you want life to look like?
Stop cheating on yourself and you’ll get there. Yes, I swear. If I can do it, you can do it.
I can show you how. Let’s talk to see if we’re even a good fit to work together.
Ask yourself, “How’s what I’ve been doing working out for me?”
It’s time to stop cheating on yourself.
It’s time to earn your trust back and squash that fricken’ doubt that’s keeping you right where you are…