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When “Busy” is Code For “I Don’t Wanna”

Right now, I’m on a much-needed sunny vacation on an isolated island.

Only 50 people live here; they’re called Belongers.

They’re deeply connected to this island, their lifestyle, and each other. It’s difficult for a non-Belonger to understand.

It makes me sad when I talk to a woman who wants to get something for herself but isn’t willing to connect to what she really needs.

She won’t’ stop shoulding all over herself.

  • I should be able to do this by myself.
  • I should be able to figure this out by now.
  • I should know how to do this already.

She doesn’t want to ask for help because of...





People want to achieve something, but they refuse to connect with others who can help. They stay stuck in isolation, trying to do it all on their own, or figure it out themselves.

Here’s an example: I met a woman who wants to leave her job and start a consulting company. She’s got vast experience in her professional life and has become quite the expert.

But she’s never started a consulting company before! Never been in business for herself, much less started one from the ground up!

PS: this is hard stuff to do.

She’s isolated because she’s not surrounded by people who know HOW to do this. Yet she believes - somehow - she SHOULD be able to do it herself!

How does this look in real life?

First: Create time to make her idea a reality.

But instead of connecting with someone who can help, she wastes a lot of time researching and doubting herself.

She needs support & guidance. She needs resources.

But her unwillingness to connect keeps her from working with a mentor who can guide her, help her, and make it easier on her!

Why do people make this choice - and ultimately stay stuck right where they are? Oh, lots of reasons:

They don’t want to spend the money.

They don’t think they’re worth the money.

They have a long-standing belief that asking for help is weak.

They don’t believe that even if they had help that they could achieve their goal.

These are all a variation on a lack of self-belief. We don’t believe we’re worth it.

We want to believe that there’s a website we should be able to go to, get the information, apply it right away, and make shit happen.

IT doesn’t work that way!

Here’s how it DOES work:

  1. We say we want something.
  2. We’re excited and take some action.
  3. Life gets hard or crazy.
  4. We get off track & lose trust in ourselves.
  5. Limiting beliefs like, “I can’t do this” or “I don’t know how” show up.
  6. We sabotage, waste time, and tell ourselves “I just don't have the time.”
  7. We abandon the goal because it’s easier.

And we lie to ourselves that it’s all because we didn’t have the time.

The trap people fall into is they hide from the goal. They isolate themselves from others who will help them be accountable and help them move through the discomfort!

Instead of getting help and support to move forward, they sabotage by “being too busy.”

Most frequently it looks like Buffering: which is wasting time and calling it “business”. Or “busy-ness”.

How do we waste time? Oh, we’re so damn good at it.

We waste time being “busy”: multitasking, wasting time, toggling back & forth between tasks so that we never really get anything done.

We waste time on social media, telling ourselves that we’re connecting with others and finding out what’s going on in the world.

We waste time “overdoing” something to make ourselves feel better: buffering with too much shopping, eating, drinking, etc.

When we remain isolated, out of connection with others, it’s easy to believe the lies our brains tell us. And these little indulgences feel good in the moment - make us think we’re doing something productive…

But we’re actually just busy.

And busy keeps us from making our dreams a reality.

Are you ready to stop being busy and start being productive?

Is this year your year to get that idea out into the world?

Overcome isolation - find a mentor - make that dream real.

My coaching programs are designed exactly to get you there, without feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or confused.
Learn how to tame your calendar, make time your friend, and create the thing that’s been hounding you for so long.
Find out how mentorship will help you start moving forward immediately!

Call me. We’ll talk. No big whoop.

Xo, Jen


This free strategic call focuses on clarifying your goals, understanding where you're stuck, & knowing how to prioritize next steps. You'll leave feeling clearer & knowing where to head next. 

Book your consultation here.

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