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What's REALLY stealing your energy - and it's not other people...

Oct 23, 2018

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Back in the olden days of 1980-something, my dad complained the thousands of decisions he’d make each day at work.

I’d think, Jeez, Dad. Poor you. How hard is it to make decisions all day long? 

To me, it sounded like a luxury! I mean – kids don’t get to make any decisions! You’re told what to wear. Where to stand. When to eat.

What a fool I was.

What I’d give now to not have to make decisions!

But for my clients and me, it’s not the BIG decisions that are killing us: it’s the teeny, tiny, stupid decisions.

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How do you know when it's time to give up?

Oct 23, 2018

After you take a swim test at camp, you get a bracelet – the color indicates your level.

Red = you can’t swim without a life jacket.

Yellow = you need a lot of monitoring.  

Green = FREEEEEDOM!!! 

Jack, then 9-years-old, got – GASP! – a red bracelet and was HORRIFIED.

When I picked up my sulky kid the afternoon of the Red Bracelet Incident, I heard the unjust story of how he didn’t get to take his test fairly.

I decided to not step in & three days later learned the actual factual truth:

He’d caused...

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How losing $225K wasn't actually a failure

Oct 23, 2018

A client recently commented on my past “failed business.”

The one in which I was 20% owner for almost 4 years, working 60 – 70 hours/week.

It never made enough to pay me.

I gave back my 20% ownership last summer, giving up more than $200K in unpaid earnings and $25,000 in investments.

I looked at him, perplexed. I said, “Oh! I never think of that business as a failure.”

But, he said, you were so burned out from it. And you never made anything –  you lost all that money.

Hm. True, I guess. I never did make a dime.

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How 23 minutes can change your life

Oct 23, 2018

My phone tweeted & chimed & buzzed & sang all day long, alerting me about

  • texts
  • Messenger
  • Facebook
  • weather
  • email
  • Groupon
  • Phone calls

Phone buzzed? I’d salivate, pick it up, & satisfy my hunger.

Sooooo easily pulled away from writing a blog, doing finances, or having a conversation with a human being.

I noticed it would take me a while to get back into the groove of my work or the connection – the flow, if you will.

A little research showed me it takes about 23 minutes to focus again if you’re toggling between tasks.

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Is it possible to have a business AND a life?

Oct 23, 2018

I was doing something I’d never done before. We had 9,000 square feet of wide open space in our fitness studio, and I was dancing

It was the first time in two years that I felt free enough to do anything like this. I’d put down my work, cranked up Flo Rida, and danced!

My best friend – one of my business partners – caught me dancing & looked at me with a smile – and a little sadness.

She said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh like YOU in a looong time. You don’t seem happy...
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Why being perfect sucks (and I should know!)

Oct 23, 2018

When I was little, I had a massive girl-crush on my Auntie Sue. She told me she’d rather have a messy home & a happy family. Huh?

Our house was always spotless. Four kids. Two adults. One dog. One guinea pig. One bathroom.

Didn’t having a clean house = being happy?

I see now that all my mom did was clean. Scurry around with the mop and vacuum. Do laundry for hours a day.

And oh, yes, she hounded us to do our chores in an effort to keep a small house with 6 humans living in it perfectly clean. But WHY?

Well, she didn’t have a lot of...

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Is it possible time is your enemy?

Oct 23, 2018

You want something. I just know it. You’ve been…

  • trying to lose weight for years now.
  • saying you want to be a more present parent.
  • fantasizing about a different career.
  • plotting finding that perfect relationship.

Then, suddenly, BAM! You find yourself in the middle of a shit storm moving you in exactly the opposite direction you said you wanted!

WTH? How’d you get here again?

Easily. Sooooo, easily.  Time gets away from us.

If you think you’re alone in suffering with this, let me reassure you – I don’t know anyone,...

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How to fix stressed out people

Oct 23, 2018

My hubs was stressed out. Withdrawn & crabby isn’t his usual state, so I knew it was my job to fix it & bring him back to normal.

In my childhood, my mom was often in the same kind of mood. It looked different on her, but when she was angry, irritated, overwhelmed, or upset, I would do the same thing.

Try to fix it.

For a long time, I thought someone else’s bad mood was my fault. Especially the special people from my youth:

  • Mrs. Verzar, my beloved ballet teacher.
  • Michelle, my very best friend.
  • My Auntie Sue, whom I admired with a hard girl...
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That time I was an A-Hole at TSA

Oct 23, 2018

Nothing good happens at 4:30am, right?

Well, at 4:30am on the first day of Winter Break in Syracuse, people are trying to escape, and there is a one-hour-long line snaking for TSA.

People start to…you know…uh, be human. Ignoring rules, cutting in line, behaving badly.

Me? I’m human too. Complaining. Craning my neck. Checking with the agent to make sure I’m in the right line.

Pissed that my TSA Pre-Check number hadn’t transferred onto my ticket.

My blood begins to boil as Jack stands, sensing every degree it rises. He watches my...

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What will you no longer put up with?

Oct 23, 2018

I did not want to have kids.

My mom & dad had kids.  Obv.   And we were giant pains in the ass. Life seemed really hard. And stressful. I didn’t want my life to be like that.

Fast Forward to my first date with John, after 4 years of platonic friendship.

I told him, “Look, I don’t really want kids. And you’re a kid kind of guy. So, if you think you want to have kids, that’s ok.

But I’m not your girl.” 

Turns out I was his girl and things worked out nicely for us…BUT…

Because...

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